Having Trouble In A Relationship & Why Do Spouses Cheat

Are you going through life waking up everyday feeling it's just another day.. feeling your life is at a stand still. your spouse is shutting you out your relationship is growing apart. this is common in every relationship if you allow it and don't do something about it.

Well your not alone many people out there are felling the same way, your partner probably is feeling it to or are they? I will get to that later. I know in my present relationship. at first I thought I was on top of the world, we were so in love and happy and still are I hope. as a few months past we consumed more responsibly just as many couples out there do. you move in together bills start coming in and reality set in, now stress was born into our relationship. lets start from at the beginning you meet someone at first they sweet talk you begin dating your single you have money you still live at home no obligations and no reasonability and no worries..you get married move in together and begin building a family and a home and some where the relatioship part of it gets lost.

About Your Spouse

He is a hard working person he pays the bills car payments insurance house payments. a wonderful provider for his family. he comes home every night don't go to bars or hang out at friends. he's putting in lots of overtime and works a lot of hours and may not be giving you as much attention as when you first got together. My wife reminds me saying there's never enough time for us. Us time she calls it.



I still don't know what exactly she really means.

Because in my mind... I thought I was doing a great job providing for my family.. coming home at night after a long day of work, having supper and shower, off to bed to do it all over again..it has become a daily rutine... then on my days off .. I would get all the things done at home like repairs..etc. or work in the garage at home you know the mancave, I am not out running around, I am home here with her. I don't know what's wrong... Boy was I wrong! Think I Missed Something In There ...Well your right there was no time spent with her just being there is not enough and money is not everything in life. I know you can't live with out it.


Ask your self these qeastions:

1. Would your spouse still love you (if god forbid ) you become unemployed?
2. Would your spouse still love you if you become ill ?
3. Would your spouse be there to hold you if you were totally broke?

I am beginning to see.. I don't give her the attention as my beautiful lady needs.

• She wants to hear she's special & beautiful.. I thought she all ready knew...
• She wants you to ask her about her day.. I thought she wanted to hear about mine.
• She wants time to spend with you. I thought she wanted a break and to spend some quality time alone and relax, not be bothered.
• She wants to be told she's a wonderful person.. Well again I thought she all ready knew the way I felt about her and how special she means to me.

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I always thought by telling her.. I love her... before walking out the door every morning or when going to bed that she knew all of those thing and how special she was and what she meant to me. These are just a few mistakes I am guilty of. And many of you guys are to.

 

I always thought by telling her I love her before walking out the door every morning or when going to bed that she knew all of those thing and how special she was and what she meant to me. These are just a few mistakes I am guilty of. And many of you guys are to.

I now think a women needs to feel as she used to as when you first met..( keep that fire burning)..Please Tell Me If I am Wrong !.... I forget to compliment her daily, on what I thought was little things and did not seem as important as me getting the bills paid...I got so caught up in being the great provider that I neglected to see what was really important, my spouse began feeling lonely she tried to tell me many of times she was getting lonely. but I didn't catch on. it was all about me the great provider...I thought oh well she's having one of those days. she will get over it . must be that time of the month. I always had some excuse. not to open my eyes and see what was really going on never paid no attention on how serious this was.

But what she may not know.. In my mind I just thought she all ready knew I love her and shes my everything, How I felt about her and didn't think she really needed to be reminded everyday.I did  not realize that I now have created or built a door for some one else to enter. I will get to the key holder later. Just hear me out. There's a lot of men..good men out there doing this very same thing and needs to be aware of it. if they want to keep there marriage. and here is why!

What women wants a guy who... is taking life to serious who is responsible works all the time, pays his bills provides for his family.. comes home every night from work and works weekends and way to many hours . never has to enough time to spend together as family time ... boring..right !

Look People This Is Called Reality realistic Wake Up
 From Your Childhood Fantasy Dream World.

Unless you end up marring a young rich person that was fed with a silver spoon, who's family left them plenty of money, Who has no worries in there life, has plenty of time to realize how to express how lucky of a guy he is having such a beautiful lady, A guy who can afford to give you all the luxuries you probably truly deserve. I think all women do deserve being treated like a queen!

But in reality that's not the case. For some.. you may have got lucky and found your prince charming or white night. But a lot of people may not be so fortunate to have married into money.

And the bills have to be paid.. our life style is not free no more.. We don't have mommy or daddy to pay our bills or clean our house do our dishes wash our cloths and raise our children, buy cleaning supplies make our house and car payments etc.. We are adults now, committed to a real person who has a real heart who only wants the best for you... and sometimes we get so caught up with responsibilities. We attend to forget about our spouses emotional feelings. It's not that we don't love you at least not in my cas. Because I love and need my wife so very much even though I don't tell her that offten enough. I just only wanted to give her and my fanily the very best in life. But oh how I forgot to give the best of me to her.  Wow writing this is becoming more of a wake up call to me even. This is becoming personal now. sorry but the more I am witting I am seeing my more of my flaws. I always could see other peoples problems better then my own.

Things Guys And Gals Need To Know

Why spouse's cheat.

Lets say your spouse is working.. a guy comes over and makes small talk to break the ice you begin seeing him every day just making small talk. (he's really just feeling you out)

The Rat

Months go by he begins giving you really nice comments..

Boy your looking sweet today.

Is that a new perfume you have on.

Did you do something new to your hair.

You smell wonderful.

Starts out telling little jokes making you smile.
How you doing today.

He has taken notice and intrest in you and now you are his pray...and he begins making his moves by having daily small talk with you.. studying your every thoughts... he has gotten to know a little about you and your relationship through out your conversations and has gained your trust he all ready knows your married you've all ready revealed that to him.. he now haves the tools to make his move.

He starts planting seeds in your head...(his seeds) he's a sharp dresser smooth, charming really nice guy he sincere, he listens to you, he's funny he makes you smile, has a nice ride everything any single women would want ( You Think !)

Things you don't know about him ..

He's a rat, he's the guy who just bet his buddy he will have you in the sack within a week, month etc. He don't care if your married or have a family at home this works to his advantage.. he's only wants one thing to win that bet.

When his pray is married or in a serious relationship..That makes it easier for him because he can get what he wants and leave you hanging.. He knows that one day you and your spouse is going to have a argument or a disagreement, You are going to go to work upset and or mad someday. Because that's what responsible couples do that have real responsibility's and who is really trying to build a family and home. 

By now he has befriended you and has your trust he tells you oh maybe he (your spouse) has had a bad day or what ever went wrong the rat is going to tell you want you want to hear, at first the rat will uphold the spouse by giving you a line of crap remember in his mind...he don't want you for his girl friend.. he don't want to break you up with your spouse... he just wants a piece of that a##!

So he's gaining your trust even more now because your thinking he's a really nice guy he's not made no moves on you ... your thinking.. wow.. I can really trust him he's just one of the guys who can understands where your coming from...

( If your a really smart women think about it.. How can he a stranger you've only known a few months be so perfect... knowing all your inner thoughts and is so considerate to your thoughts, says all the right things your missing in your relationship...like he does... When your spouse you've been with for a long time cant or don't tell you all the things he used to like the rat is telling you) this rat is a pro you are not his first and only pray he probably is playing others the same time as you.

Well anyway..you began meeting after work in parking lots just talking...at first then one day you came in to work having one of those bad days again and the rat makes his move by telling you jokes telling you sweet things your missing at home he's got you right where he wants you... he gets a smile out you he now has played the emotional card... remember your spouse don't tell you all the sweet things and make you laugh like you used to and the rats know this and is now going to make keys to the new door your spouse built. the rat now has all his cards all in place and its time to make his move.

..he leans in and gives you a small comforting kiss on the for head or cheek no harm..begins holding you comforting you telling you everything's going to be ok he's there for you. now his seeds he planted at the beginning of your friendship is now sprouting and let the feelings begin.

Now About The Key holder:

Things about The Rat he don't want you to know.

he's the type of guy who either still lives with his rich parents or lives with a house full of buddies who splits the rent five ways and has plenty of money. has a real nice car and a good job...seem real responsible ...he's single has no worries can play ..and has a lot of talk.

Things you don't know about him ..He's a rat, he the guy who just bet his buddy he will have you in the sack within a week, month etc. He don't care if your married or have a family at home this works to his advantage.. he's only wants one thing to win that bet.

(The little voice in the back of our minds begins to think ..he's single, attractive and a really nice guy) so you take it just as a compliment so your working he comes over he sees your not talking much he ask what's wrong you.. ok...at first you say yes just having a bad day..well is there anything I can do to help. hey I know how about we go have lunch or a cup of coffee. it always help to talk about it he says.......its about lunch time you got plans ...Another move.. he ask you would you like to go out to lunch one afternoon, and you agree thinking oh well cant hurt we are just friends.

Now he's got you thinking about what if the grass is greener on the other side. So you get closer and closer and next thing you know is your now having a affair. he plays it for awhile by now you and your spouse is arguing over every little small thing to give you more reasons to cheat and ease your guilt. but your friend has a new pray he got what he wanted he won that bet. now he's no longer will answer your calls or show up at your old meeting places. You just got played!

Now your spouse is the one who pays for this.
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